More Than We Imagined

I am floored. I am blown away. I don't know whether it's more appropriate to jump up and down or to kneel--so I'm sitting here, shaking my head in amazement as I type. Have you ever asked God for something so huge that you felt nervous to ask, only to have Him completely dwarf your request with His generosity? Then you can understand. 

Yesterday, JC called an old friend. Just to chat, catch up, reconnect. I have always been amazed and challenged by my husband's talent for maintaining friendships through the years. This one in particular stretches back to high school.

New Isuzu transmission

As they traded recent stories, hubby shared the epic saga of last week's anniversary adventure: the car trouble, the attempts to fix it, the late-night rescue by our friend, the need for a complete transmission rebuild, and the reasonable price we found at a local shop in Denver.

We have been car-less ever since returning to Estes while our poor Isuzu has been in the shop, but we were just so thankful that the price was less than the $2,500 we were originally quoted. Yikes! We were thankful for savings to cover it, thankful that good friends came to pick us up, and thankful that to live at the Y, where walking is not only feasible but fun. Just a good story for a good laugh later.

But at the end of the conversation, our friend said, "I know you didn't ask, but I'm looking at our bank accounts. We have some money set aside for stuff like this..."

Yes. Our friend paid for our new transmission.

Not only did he pay for it; the amount he and his wife had saved to give away was the exact amount quoted to us by the repair shop.

I'm realizing all over again that God is bigger, richer, and more generous than I had imagined or hoped for. Here I was, asking for a fix that we could afford, never imagining that He wanted to do something like this!

If you're facing something that looks like it will drain you financially, emotionally, or in some other way, I hope that this can encourage you too!

The God who holds you is bigger than that giant.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the Church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen." (Ephesians 3:20-21)

Fire Update: much closer to home

Remember the High Park Fire I wrote about two weeks ago?  Well, it's still burning, and it has consumed 81,190 acres so far, including 191 homes.  My heart breaks for the people who've lost everything, and thousands more have been evacuated from the area close to Fort Collins. The angry pinkish cloud of smoke is part of the visual landscape now, rising above the mountains that encircle our valley. For a recent news story, click here.

Despite the visible plume of smoke, the High Park Fire is far enough away from the YMCA to be more of a curiosity than a threat.

But yesterday, the threat of fire hit much closer to home.


Hubby and I were cleaning dishes full-throttle in the kitchen when we were called in to an unplanned staff meeting. There, they told us that a new fire had begun, this one only a mile away from the YMCA park entrance! A year-round staff member had already lost his cabin, and other homes were threatened. 


The good news was that the wind was in our favor, blowing the fire away from the YMCA grounds. Firefighters were already battling the blaze from the ground and the air, and we could hear helicopters buzzing overhead.

After our shift, we stood at the top of the hill near our cabin. From that vantage point we could see the flames and smoke mingling orange and gray at the other end of the valley.

View of the fire from our hill.

Just to be safe, we packed our backpacks with essentials and valuables before hiking back down to the administration building. By then, the smoke was already lessening and the flames were no longer visible. A news article from last night said that the fire was in "mop up" stage, fully contained, and no longer a threat to the YMCA or to Estes Park.

I have been to Colorado many times in the past, and I have never seen the state so parched. Last summer, they had a drought equivalent to the one experienced by my home state of Texas in the past few years, and the trees and ground are ripe tinder for fires. Please pray for Colorado, especially for the firefighters and people who have lost their homes. 

The Point of Deserts

"And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Your clothing did not wear out on you and your foot did not swell these forty years. Know then in your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the Lord your God disciplines you." 

(Deuteronomy 8:2-5)

Everyone in the LT program has been using this book to study the life of Jesus this summer as our example of leadership. Even though the stories of Jesus' life have been part of my personal fiber since toddler-hood, I've found myself challenged in new ways and fascinated by details that I never saw before.

We were studying Jesus' relationship with the Holy Spirit, and I had just read about his 40-day stint in the desert without food.

In his humanness, he got hungry. He got thirsty. After 40 days, he was probably sunburned, with dry, swollen lips that cracked when he answered his tempter those three times. But what had Jesus said in the desert?  "Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord." Huh...sounds like Deuteronomy.

And it was after that desert experience that "Jesus returned in the power of the Spirit to Galilee" (Luke 4:14).    

Many Christians--me included!--have often lived for the "mountaintop experiences": the times when life feels easy and joyful, God feels closer than ever, and it's easy to trust that He is good. Oh yeah, I like those.
But deserts?  Blech.  Just like real deserts, desert times in our lives are hot, sticky and uncomfortable. They're often lonely, seem endless, or even pointless. Parts of my life feel very desert-like right now, and it's been tough, stressful, and discouraging. 


But Deuteronomy says that "God led you these forty years in the wilderness" and Jesus was "led by the Spirit" into the desert. God doesn't do pointless things. 


But why?  
"...that he might humble you...
...testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would obey his commandments..."

Ok, yeah, I do want to be humbled. I need that, Lord. But this is painful! What if my needs for friendship, acceptance, or financial provision go unmet?

"...and he let you hunger and fed you with manna...that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord."


Am I willing to feel the hunger of not having what I think I need if it means that God can feed me in His way?
Am I willing to get filled from an unexpected source, just like manna was for them?

Maybe this is the point of a desert--to learn complete dependence on the One who is the real source of life.

God, if that's what you're doing, you can keep me here as long as you need to. I trust you. After all, you went through a desert too.

P.S.
Coincidentally, this summer, hubby will be co-leading a workshop entitled "Beauty in Pain". More related posts to come, I'm sure. Oh, the irony. 

A Wild First Anniversary

As I typed that title, I realized that it could easily be misunderstood. If it helps, just insert the word "memorable", "unexpected", or "ridiculously crazy". Because those words certainly apply. 

As mentioned in an earlier post, my man and I had made some pretty awesome plans to stay at a ski resort after I picked him up at the airport Sunday afternoon. Apparently those places have awesome deals in the summertime!

We were so happy to see each other at the baggage claim! But when we got in the car, we were less happy to see a new light flashing on our dashboard. Our transmission fluid was low. Uh oh. 


[Hubby, the take-action man] "Quick--look up an auto parts store. We need to take care of this pretty quickly."
 [Me looking at my phone] "ok....here's one that looks close."

We arrived and were about to make a left turn into the parking lot when...the car refused to shift into drive. So close! Some kind guys helped push us the remaining few yards.

The next four hours were a hilarious comedy of errors:

• I bought transmission fluid, but it was for a different type of car. 
• We next bought the right fluid and lifted the hood, but there seemed to be a cap for every type of fluid EXCEPT transmission fluid. 
• It turns out that our car doesn't have access to the transmission from the hood area. Instead, you have to craw under the car, unscrew a bolt in the pan, and use a hand pump to get fluid in. 

Getting under our car. I felt like a grease monkey!

• I crawled under, but the nuts we had were too small for the bolt. 
• Got the right nut, but the ratchet was too short/I was too weak to turn it. 
• Got a longer ratchet. 
• Took off the bolt...and transmission fluid poured out! Oh noo! Lesson learned: the car needs to be running so that the fluid stays in the turbines. 
• Hose was too large for the hole. 

Hand pump we tried to use

• Smaller hose didn't have a good seal (aka: big mess)
• Broke the pump because the fluid was so thick.
• Finally pumped about two quarts in. Yay!!!  
• Let's try driving! Umm...it will only go into reverse. 

After consideration, we decided against driving backwards three hours to our resort.

By that time, the sun was down, we were hungry, and we realized that there was little chance of a rental place being open.

We suddenly remembered a good friend who happens to live in Denver. Maybe...?  Yes!  She came to our rescue, let us stay at her house and use her bed, shower, and car! So much better than sleeping in our broken car in the Autozone parking lot. We felt so incredibly loved, and we had a wonderful visit!

The next day was our anniversary. We used her car, got a tow truck to a local repair shop that quoted us a reasonable price, and found a rental place.

Then, we picked her up from work and all three of us went to see The Avengers in 3D!  (totally recommend it. :)  )

Now, this is a crazy story, and it might seem like everything that could have gone wrong did. But as hubby and I reviewed the day on our way to the resort, we noticed how God had really protected, provided, and given us wisdom!

We could have broken down in the middle of nowhere. Instead, we broke down within yards of an autoparts store.
We could have had to push it ourselves, but those guys helped us.
The guys who worked at Autozone were so friendly and helpful. They even loaned us tools and helped us pump!
We were actually laughing and having fun the whole time we worked on the car. Not stressed!
Our friend, "Aladon", rescued us and we had a great visit!
We had a free tow service.
We got a recommendation to a good repair shop that didn't insist on selling us an expensive warranty.
Our emergency fund was enough to cover the repair!
And...(this is the icing on the cake!)...our resort let us move the reservation, allowing us to stay for two nights even though we had technically been no-shows the night our car broke down!
We had a great, relaxing time at the resort, and then some good friends came to get us and bring us back to Estes Park after we dropped off the rental. 


An anniversary celebration that has no glitches or snags and is full of chocolate, romance and flowers is really nice. Really really nice. 


But this first anniversary felt like a celebration of the real life we share with each other. We're messy, things break and don't go as planned. But God is good, and we have fun. :)

The sunset on our way to the resort.

Concussion excitement

On Wednesday, hubby and I had just finished a long day of relational and marriage-related training and we were clustered with friends from our project group on the front porch of the Admin building. I was salivating in anticipation of the s'mores we were about to make, and excited to finally spend time with the group after sitting in meetings all day.

Just then, hubby pointed to the field below. "Hey, that guy isn't getting up." Someone had slipped on the grass, and was still lying there after nearly a minute.

When we ran out to see if the teenager was ok, it was clear that he wasn't. The group of kids had been playing a game of Capture the Flag for a grand total of about 30 seconds before the lack of traction on his shoes made him hit the ground--hard. He was alert and even cracking jokes at his sister who hovered nearby, but the back of his head and neck were in severe pain.

After asking him if I could, I prayed aloud for him in front of the crowd of kids. I wondered whether that was a normal thing in their families. Then Hubby stabilized his head and encouraged him to stay awake while I ran back and got help.

Soon, there were three emergency vehicles on the field, who I later learned were the first responders who live on the YMCA grounds. His grandma came walking up later, chuckling and shaking her head. Apparently, her grandson is accident prone, and this was a pretty normal occurrence for him.

We missed out on the s'mores, but as we walked away, we got something better. A group of college-aged students came up to ask about the ambulance, and the conversation developed into a 2-hour hangout! All four were international students who had come to work for the summer in the United States. Jean Lucas and Vanessa were from Brazil, Erika was from Columbia, and Guillermo hailed from Madrid, Spain. We talked about movies, about music, about our families, and about the cultural differences they have seen in the short time they've been here.

I was reminded afresh how much I love international students!  Not only do they bring a new dimension, a fresh perspective that I find fascinating, I often feel like my own experiences overseas make it easy to relate to them. And of course, like all young people, we share so much of the hopes we have for the future, the common experiences of family and insecurities, and the fun of being young.

Oh, and get this: ALL of them came to the LT service in the chapel the next night. Please pray for more opportunities to connect with them, and for their curiosity about a personal relationship with God to grow.

Happy things

My stomach is growling, but I wanted to share a few happy things before I go to dinner:

Happy thing #1: Kelsey is here!
I can't believe I haven't mentioned this fact on my blog yet. She's been here ever since two cars and a motorcycle made a spontaneous 19-hour road trip up from Texas to visit the LT-ers last week. They left after only two days, but she stayed, and our life has experienced an upsurge of laughter and hugs ever since!

For those of you who don't know, this is the same Kelsey who will be our house-mate for about three months this coming fall. Our little family will be temporarily expanded, and we are excited! She is recently engaged, planning a November wedding, and it just didn't make sense for her to renew a year-long lease in August.

Happy thing #2: Conversations over dishes
Yesterday morning, a combination of a broken tray-conveyor and a severe lack of diners meant that hubby and I were free to get to know some of the other employees in the kitchen during our Trash 'n Tray shift.

There is Carla, a smiling, dark-skinned beauty from Jamaica who laughs even when our American jokes aren't that funny to her. There is Valentina, a slender 21-year-old from Macedonia whose black hair falls playfully over her eyes when she looks up.

And there is Gerald*.

My conversation with Gerald broke my heart. He is well beyond fifty, and one of the friendliest and kindest managers at the Y. He is also a second-time divorcee, tired of religion, and the last few years have been hard. The recession dried up his carpentry business two years ago, and he lost the beautiful house he'd built in the mountains. He's lonely, and the seasonal friends he makes in the kitchen seem to be his only company.

Please pray for him to understand that Jesus is the answer, the only friend who won't leave, the one who calls him valuable even if he might feel like a failure.

Happy thing #3: Dabbling in Doodles
I haven't sketched in AGES, but Colorado's beauty is a great inspiration to dig out the art supplies. :)

Inspiration from the porch

In progress...

Completed sketch!

Happy thing #4: Weekend Plans
Ohhh, this weekend is going to be awesome and full of love!

On Saturday, hubby will fly to Oregon and have the privilege to stand next to our friend as he pledges his heart and loyalty to his sweetheart. This is a young man who decided to follow Jesus, was baptized, and grew in the Lord while in our homegroup two years ago, so it is very special that my hubby gets to be part of the wedding.

And then...I will pick him up from the airport and we will celebrate our own first year of marriage!  Wow, I can NOT believe that our first, sweet year has flown by so fast. June 18, 2011 was such an incredibly beautiful day, but I can honestly say that the love I felt for him then is pale and anemic compared to how I love him now.

We hope to find a hotel deal in Denver and then go exploring for a few days. :)










*Name changed for privacy purposes.

Forest Fires and Friends

A friend said yesterday, "It feels like every day at the Y is the same as four regular days at home--so much life happens in 24 hours!"  

On one hand, this is true, because of the sheer numbers of conversations and the volume of fresh thoughts experienced when you're living in new surroundings. 

On the other hand, hubby and I both feel like life has shifted down about a dozen notches from the near-frantic pace of this past semester. We have responsibilities, but they don't consume every waking moment. We have meetings, volunteer shifts, meals, and work, but there is room to breathe clean mountain air, room to get decent sleep, and room to sit down with friends and talk. We like it. :)

Dry Conditions = Forest Fire: 
On Friday, we woke to see an energetic plume of smoke rising above the mountains that encircle the YMCA campus. By lunchtime, the plume had become the rolling, billowing cloud that you can see in this picture I took with my phone>>>

News articles say that the fire started from a lightening strike early Saturday morning.

Don't worry about us--the YMCA and Estes Park are in no danger--but this fire is definitely one of the biggest that Colorado has had to deal with in a long time. Prayers are needed! On Saturday, hot, dry conditions and strong winds expanded the fire from 50 to 200 acres within half an hour, and a recent article says that over 37,000 acres have been burned. 

photo credit: denverpost.com

At this point, the fire is 0% contained, and the fire crews are focusing on evacuation and on keeping buildings from catching fire. Please pray for the fire crews, for all the families affected by this fire, and for some long, soaking rains! 

Project Group:

Even though we can see the smoke, the fire is far enough away that it hasn't affected anything at the YMCA or in the LT program. This weekend, for example, some friends from my project group and I went on a mini-hike to a place called Moraine Park. We ate boxed lunches from the dining hall on top of a big boulder and took some goofy pictures:

Y-M-C-A!

We also saw elk on the other side of the river, only 30 feet away from us!  

I really am enjoying getting to know the girls in my project group and life group. They are all so uniquely sweet, each with her own history, quirks, and personality to bring to the mix. I'm praying that God heals some hurts and fears I've accumulated from past friendships through these new ones, and that I can be an encouragement to them too. 

The Structure of Summer: Cabin and work

Life is not where you live. It's also not a string of tasks, one after the other. Instead, life is lived on the inside, within those structures, where personal experiences pile up and intertwine and are sorted into meaningful categories by memory.

Still, my internal life feels a tad sensitive right now, even messy. I had an EBD (emotional break-down) at lunch today, and the categories aren't clear at all. 

So I'm writing now about the external structures of where and what. Maybe later I'll get to the other stuff. 

Our Summer Home:

This is our home for the next month and a half! Isn't it cute? 

The YMCA of the Rockies was established around the turn of the LAST century--more than 100 years ago. Built in 1914, our little duplex is one of the oldest structures still standing. Every year they threaten to tear it down and build something new, but every year it somehow escapes the ax. For the tree growing up through the roof of the water closet, that's a good thing! 

We have one large room with a kitchen,

and two tiny bedrooms. The one where we sleep is just big enough for a double bed and a chest of drawers.

We haven't had an official hike yet, but because our cabin is perched so far above the main YMCA campus, I feel as if we get a mini-hike nearly every day! 

Two Very Different Hats:

As far as work is concerned, I feel as though I have my feet in two separate buckets. 

Photo credit: Google Images

In the first bucket, I don a forest green polo shirt and make my way among wet floors and clanking machinery to clean and sort trays of dirty dishes from the guest dining hall. Since hubby is considered LT staff this summer, we aren't really working for the Y, but they are kind enough to let us volunteer two morning shifts each week in exchange for all the food we can eat. :) A pretty good deal!

In the second bucket, there are no dirty dishes, but the water is murky and confusing. Suddenly, the same tasks I have been doing for our church office the last two and a half years take twice or thrice as much effort. A simple thing like checking the office email may take two hours, simply because the internet connection keeps logging me out. A question to a co-worker that would have been solved in a three-minute conversation down the hall is now a 2 day email exchange. 

Don't get me wrong--I'm thankful to be here, thankful that supervisors allowed me to come with hubby on this summer adventure, and thankful for the income.

But with deadlines looming...
and banks saying they can't give me information to do my job unless my boss is on the phone WITH me...
and the information from the office incomplete and unclear...

A growing sense of failure and frustration is tightening my throat and making me wonder what I'm doing here. Shouldn't effort equal success? But at the moment, it feels like I am dumping effort into a black hole, with no results in sight.

But now I've gone past the external structures to the rawness I promised not to share. Oh well...I guess God knew I needed to share it. Prayers are appreciated. 

Concerning letters

Let me share with you one of my life-long loves: real mail.  

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, archaic and out-dated. Maybe I'm a romantic. Or maybe I'm one of the millions of people who get a secret thrill when we see the plump edge of a letter with our name written by hand on the face of it. It feels just a little bit like a birthday, doesn't it?

Yes. We have the internet. And yes, I'm blogging about letters using a keyboard, not a paper and pen. But if you would like to write to me this summer while I'm in Colorado, I promise that I will love it. And I will write back with an actual, physical letter. (Disclaimer: this promise does not apply if I suddenly receive over 20 letters per day!)

My mailing address until the middle of July is:

Cherise Castille - EPC Staff

PO Box 20700

Estes Park, CO 80511

This is not the same as the package address, so if you'd like to send a package, just ask me for that one. :)

Colorado at last!

I feel like I could be a poster child for Planes, Trains and Automobiles--I've spent so much time in them in the last three weeks! Trains in Milan, planes to and from Europe, and then two days in a car coming here.

But while it was undeniably LONG, it was also beautiful to spend alone time with my man on the road. I wish I could have recorded all of our silliness and laughter for a rainy day! We snacked on beef jerky, listened to C.S. Lewis' final portion of the Narnia series, The Last Battle, and took turns napping.

We also spent several wonderful, encouraging hours with the parents of hubby's good friend, who happen to live at a convenient half-way point. I appreciated their wisdom, their experience, and their sweet hospitality.

Some pics from the drive:

Grain silo in North Texas

The ground began to be less flat

Rush-hour traffic in Denver. We didn't plan that one very well... 

Finally in Estes Park! Just a little higher than the 300 feet elevation we're used to.

Now the place where I sit and type is a world away from Milan, not only in distance but in everything else.

One short week ago we were snapping goodbye photos with our Italian (and Albanian, Romanian, Ukrainian, Russian, and Chinese friends). We were sipping cappuccinos and eating gelato. We were packing hastily and snatching 2 hours of sleep before our flight back to America.

The view from the porch of the Admin Building. Gorgeous!

Now, I'm surrounded by the sounds of Midwestern English. Most members of the male population are sporting beards. The architecture is woodsy and rustic, and out the window I can see the fresh green panorama of the Rocky Mountains spreading up and out to the blue-brown of even higher heights beyond. The breeze is bracing. The sun is warm. I feel my soul expanding in the presence of the beauty all around me, trying to grow large enough to take in the many facets of loveliness.

I have a feeling that my heart will grow in more ways than this before the summer is over.