Returning

My least favorite part of any mission trip has always been the goodbye. You pray, prepare, go, serve and love with all your heart--and then the moment comes when you leave, taking only photos and a certain but far-away hope that you'll see them again in Heaven.

But this year is different! This year will be the first time that I get to return, making last year's goodbyes simply see-you-laters.

Lord willing, in three short weeks hubby and I will once again be walking the streets of Milan.

I can't wait to hug our friends who live there and serve year-round.
I can't wait to drink a real cappuccino at breakfast.
I can't wait to see how the little church, Il Refugio, has grown.
I can't wait to spend long hours at pizzerias, discussing life, Jesus, and our cultural quirks with students.
I can't wait to pick up the strands of friendships we began to weave last year.

The returning will be dolce--sweet.

I haven't been blogging about Italy, but many of you have heard through a letter, a Facebook update, or a phone call.

What you may not have heard is that this year's support raising has been unusually difficult.

So many people have been generous, even sacrificial. Every gift that has come to our mailbox or to the online giving site has humbled is to the core (and sometimes made us jump around our living room like kids on a sugar high!)

But I'd be lying if I said that this process hasn't tested my faith. It always does, but it's been tough this year.

The conversations have gone something like this:

Me: Jesus, I know you're not slow, but you sure aren't following my schedule. The deadline is Thursday.

Jesus: Trust Me.

Me: Ok I do trust you. Help me trust. I know you can do even more than I ask.

Jesus: My ways are higher than yours, remember?

Me: I remember. Keep reminding me.

Because sometimes I need to return to what is, no matter the state of my emotions or my bank balance. His faithfulness is a constant, His love is forever.

And the return to those truths is always dolce.

Sodom's Crime

Death is a taker, not a giver. The taking it has done this week in Boston, and last night in West, TX, have made me sit weeping in my car for the moms, the spouses, the kids who are reeling in the aftermath.

Always receiving, but never giving, salt seas are dead too.

Dead and briny, like the tears in Boston and West after the taking.

Salty and barren like a little ghost town once called Sodom.

Sodom. We always peg it for its sodomy. (Ever wonder where the name came from?) Yes, Sodom had sexual sin, but that was not the crime that fit them for destruction.

The crime was taking-without-giving.

They hoarded wealth like a salt sea hoards water.

Small-town Sodom was full of gluttons. It was full of excess, of waste, of shutting eyes to the poor and plugging ears against compassion that would cost them comfort.

I had never known this, never realized that this was why God destroyed it, but there it was, in the middle of a rant against Israel, (who apparently was worse than Sodom!):

"...this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy. ...So I removed them." (Ezekiel 16:48-50 ESV)

Sound like any place you know?

I'm not bringing this up so I can stand on my soapbox against America's wealth, her ease and prosperity, or her greed.  No, I'm bringing this up because I'm guilty.

I have shut my eyes. I have closed my ears. I have snapped my checkbook closed too many times when I knew He would have counted it as a personal gift to Him.

When I receive without giving, I am like like a salt sea: deader with every drop.

"Truly I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me." (Matt 25:45) - Jesus

He, the Ultimate Giver, is supremely alive.

I received and began to live. Now when I give, His life is expressed sweet, full. I have life to the full.




As I was chewing on the passage in Ezekiel, I started journaling a prayer out of desperation and frustration with how similar I was to Sodom. This poem was the result.



Rescue me from wealth
the consuming
and grasping 
and wasting
of things
unnecessarily bought
and garaged
and shelved
while their bellies bloat.

Save me from success
the endless striving
comparing 
and lifting
of self
unconscionably proud 
discontent
and anxious
lest the accolades stop.

Ransom me from passion
for those worthless
and emptying
pursuits
unbearably hollow
preoccupying
distracting
from the Life that truly lives.

Marching on! The Past Month in Pictures

Can you believe it's already April? I made a lot of corny jokes last month about how time was "March-ing on." Yeah, I really went there.

Corniness aside, time really IS moving quickly. My boss likes to quip that "time is the enemy"--of health, of productivity, of babies' cuteness--but I disagree. Death is the real enemy, and as we celebrated last Sunday, Jesus has already, ultimately defeated it. Happy, hope-flooded thought! We are physically dying, but Death will only stick around for a short while longer. Time is Death's enemy, not mine.

The past month held a lot of fun and silliness for hubby and I, squeezed in between work and other normal stuff. Here are some pictures of our shenanigans!

We learned an awesome new card game calked Munchkin. Its tagline is, "Kill the monsters, steal the treasure, stab your buddy." No role-playing, just fun. And yes, those are example cards from the game below...my favorite are the Boots of Butt-Kicking.

Still building relationships with these sweet kids every Wednesday. Love them. (Read about Bible Club here)

 I had the opportunity to sit amazed at my little sister's talent as she painted a vibrant butterfly wing during this 5-minute worship song at church. 

 We relaxed a weekend at the beach for Spring Break--which is actually where we went last year too. :) 

Our nieces were in a talent pageant! And for once, we got to be there!

 On lunch breaks, my walk often takes me next to a field untouched by lawnmowers. Ohhhh, the flowers have been taking my breath away this Spring! And if you like these TX flowers, you'll love these flowers from Colorado last summer. 

Chai latte's are the best, but especially when they're shared with my daddy during a special daddy-daughter date. My heart and my tummy were both full afterward. 

I've snagged quite a few gorgeous sunsets with my phone's camera. 

Annnd...here is my (SLOW) gardening progress! Thought I should post at least one picture so no one thinks I'm just pretending to have one. :)  The plants are still indoors because of a mis-calculation that left me with too little dirt in the bed, but they'll be out soon!