Small things

Again, I find that the ambition to blog regularly on a mission trip like this proved to be completely unrealistic. Oh well. There is grace in the doing and not-doing, and sometimes the call to sit and rest--to simply be--outshines the trophies we give ourselves for checking boxes off lists.


Our two weeks in Milan are drawing to a close. Sunday, we will eat one last brioche and point our noses back to the land of Starbucks and larger cars. I will miss Italy so much.

We have been living the refreshing rhythm of days measured by the quality of conversations with God and with others rather than by errands run or hours worked.

Even then, "measure" is a mis-nomer. Because how can you measure what God might do through a seemingly inconsequential hug? Or a friendly chat over a maroccino?

Two weeks is a blip on eternity's timeline, but if love was expressed, that blip carries the weight of eternity.

This morning I forgot this. For about three hours, I walked in a fog of self-doubt which was really God-doubt in disguise. It hit me after breakfast, causing me to question my effectiveness, my abilities, and whether I had wasted my time coming.

As I type, I'm scoffing at the absurdity. But even the absurd can sound true when you're tired.

I looked over the past two weeks and saw only a string of inconsequential moments, conversations, and activities. Only two weeks, when I longed to give the whole shebang and move here for good. It seemed so paltry. Like loose change in my coin purse.

But there was that day when Jesus called her two coins the biggest offering of all. 

And there was another afternoon when a kid's lunch, given to Jesus, fed enough people to fill a stadium. 

He loves to use the weak things, the small things, the awkward things, even the boring things.
By this, He shames the strong.
If I feel strong, I'm actually weak.
But when I give Him the small things--my little lunch, my loose change--His strength is obvious.

So this is what I'm learning. It's only something small...but I guess I could be wrong about that. :)

Siamo in Italia!

We are in Italy! As I type, the halls of Hotel Ornato are ringing with the thumps and thuds of an entire boy's footbol team. Their coaches are singing and drinking in the patio below our window, so sleep would be impossible even if I hadn't imbibed three cafes today...which I did. Those fancy little shot glasses of caffeine are incredibly delizioso and addictive.

But I'm glad; this is my first real chance to give an update since we arrived foggy-headed, stinky, and stiff on Monday!

Already, I am full of stories. Already, I want to move here permanently. (Kidding, kidding! ...sort of?) 

Already, my heart is aching again because so many of my new friends have no idea how deeply they are loved by God.

But stories will have to wait! Tonight I simply want to share some photos with captions to give you a little taste of the past three days. 

We rode the Christmas-light van to the airport... (still not exactly sure why those were there?)

The sunrise somewhere over the UK was *almost* worth having only two hours of sleep. Gorgeous!

Foggy London town wasn't so foggy, which gave us a beautiful view of close-set neighborhoods and fields as we flew into Heathrow Airport. 

The soda can I bought in London proudly proclaimed their commitment to never adding "NASTIES" to their product. What a relief!

We had a crystalline view of the Swiss Alps on our way to Milan--what a treat! For the next hour, I couldn't keep songs from The Sound of Music out of my head. 

Thankfully, the Italian landscape is much warmer than the Alps.

We were dead-tired, but of course, we couldn't sleep without visiting the gelateria for some delicious gelato. Yummy!

And this was the team on campus yesterday after the first successful English Club meeting. We were so thankful that God gave us the use of classrooms on campus for free this year.

And I'm posting my first update a little sooner than I did last year! *pats self on back*

I am so deeply thankful for everyone who helped us come again to this beautiful city. 

Seriously, ya'll are amazing. 

God is amazing. 

I am amazed that He chooses to use us. 

Can't wait to see how the next week and a half will pan out! Please take a minute right now to pray for our team; God is not limited by thousands of miles! 

"I'm doing good"

What makes a day "good"?

As a bank teller, I am constantly asking customers how their day is going. Of course, ninety-nine percent say "I'm good", I'm doin' fine", or something similar. Social norms put us on auto-pilot and keep everything clean and shiny.

For years, I've tried to avoid the plastic smile in favor of authenticity. Fake might be pretty, but it keeps us insulated from real friendships. Who relates to Barbie anyway?

So early on, I swung to the other extreme. (Hint: extremes are usually bad.) It made for some pretty awkward conversations with perfect strangers.

I like to think I've learned from my mistakes, that I know when to bare all and when to be polite, but I still have slip-ups.
But lately, I've been convicted that my desire to be authentic and "real" sometimes drives me to cross a fine line into simple griping. Or (gulp!) even gossip.

Which brings me back to my first question: What are the qualifications for a "good" day--one that I don't gripe or complain about?

Must the day be nearly perfect to be a "good" one?

Maybe my standards have been too high. Maybe a good day shouldn't have to be so perfect, measuring up to the "good" days of last year, or even last week.

A sweet young mommy-friend of mine has come to a similar conclusion. These days, exhaustion is the norm in her world. So are spit-up stains and tantrums and diapers and all the other normals that mommies of toddlers and infants endure. Three years ago, before kids, the lack of sleep alone might have translated into a no-good-very-bad-day.

So, she has wisely adjusted her standards. A "good" day is a day when her children are loved. It is a day when there was sleep before, no matter how little. It is any day when her heart is focused on thankfulness, on loving, on Jesus.

Good is a choice.

I will still share the hard things with friends. I will still show the reality of my life because shared comfort brings closeness.
But because Jesus is good, and He is with me, I choose to believe that today is good. 

A Report to Celebrate!

For all of you who read the last post about our (quickly!) upcoming mission trip, this is a celebration report of God's faithfulness!

A silly picture from last year at a Milano coffee shop. (I'm wearing the hat.)

Last Thursday was the deadline, the critical day when all of the funds had to be collected, in hand, and on their way to the bank. Only one week before, our team was falling far behind, collectively in the red by more than six thousand dollars.

The team was praying, but even they were unaware of another circumstance that threatened to add an additional two thousand dollars to the overall team goal. If the university in Milan would let us use their free classrooms for the English Clubs, we would be ok. If not...well, let's just say that renting hotel conference rooms would be pricey.

This alarming news had come Tuesday. To avoid a team-wide freak out, hubby and I were praying quietly between ourselves.

On Thursday, I went to work as usual and sat there praying between customers, waiting for news.

By the end of the afternoon, ALL the money had come in--to the penny!
AND the university had agreed to let us use their classrooms! Not only did this reduce the price of the trip, the convenience of the location will also make it easier for more students to attend and meet our team. We are thrilled to see how God will use this close location to connect students with the church in Milan.

So if you prayed,
or gave,
or did both,

THANK YOU!

We will need more prayer than ever as we go, so please don't stop! I know from last year that I can do absolutely nothing without His power.