Laugh Collection

I have a pocketful of really funny stories from the past few weeks to share with you.

#1: The other day, my sassy, pregnant, and highly intelligent professor of Communication couldn't wait to tell us about what had happened to her.

Earlier that week, she had walked into an 8:00 class to fill in for one of her grad students who was in the hospital. Immediately, two young guys in the front row looked up at her, declared "It's a sub!"...and promptly began acting classically immature.

Remember how your friends acted in middle school when you had a substitute?  Yeah. This was the college version.

They began to discuss--loudly--a number of stupid things they had done or were planning to do, including the jello shots they planned to serve at their house party that Friday. They even got rude with Dr. J-B, asking her, "have you ever taken jello shots?" "Of course, not while you're pregnant." "You ARE pregnant, aren't you?"

She was shaking her head in disbelief as she related the story. "I had never been so amused by college-level stupidity in my life!" she said.

The best moment of her story came when she called the class to order. She stood up and announced, "Hello, my name is Dr. J-B. I am the course director for this class."

She said you could have knocked the two jerks in the front row over with a feather. Their eyes widened and their spines slumped down in their seats with mortification. This woman controlled their destiny.

"You-you wouldn't judge a book by it's cover, would you?" they asked.

"No" she smiled. "I won't judge either of you by a cover. I'll judge you by the many stupid things you've said to me over the past ten minutes."

Oh snap.

The irony is that they judged her by her pregnant belly, her youth, or simply the fact that she wasn't the usual guy, and made a huge mistake!

#2. My second story happened to me last week in a dark parking garage at around 2am.

Yes, it sounds creepy, but don't worry.

I had been studying for hours in the campus library, head poked into a tiny cubicle table just big enough for my laptop and the stack of books I was referencing for a research paper. The plan was to stay there until the bitter end. But...my growling stomach and my need for some free caffeine finally won.

As I walked through the garage to my car, two guys passed me in the opposite direction.

"Woah, you're just now going out?" one asked, amazed. "You party hard-core!"

My tired brain took its sweet time to recognize that they were talking to me. a) Random guys don't usually talk to me, and b)I was thinking about citation formats.

I think they pitied me when I told them the truth.



#3. I saw this sign by the library.  Not so weird...except that I saw it last week.

Maybe the campus staff was pulling a late April Fools prank?

That's all for now!  Do any of you have some funny stories from recent weeks? Share 'em!