Yesterday as we prepped for our homegroup's pizza night, I had a moment of crisis. Why? Because my 26th birthday is next week.
I know--I'm still young...but I panicked, wondering if passing that milestone would suddenly make me un-relatable to the eighteen year olds we are welcoming to our group. I mean, that's an eight-year gap!
My thoughts went something like this: I'm married. That instantly puts me a world away from them. Then they'll figure out my class year was 2010...the same year most of them were just starting high school. When I was babysitter age, they would have been the age to babysit! I can't even stay up late to hang out with them...I'm so lame...
I was feeling this even though my husband is over thirty and still totally relevant! Even though I could point to a generous crowd of young mommies who are encouragement powerhouses to the dozens of college girls who flock around them, I was still feeling like my expiration date was about to start flashing red.
Because it's true; I am no longer the student who frequents coffee shops, has five sets of flip flops, and carries a backpack in lieu of a purse.
But there is another truth: I'm also no longer the college student who crammed six discipleship meetings into every week, who strove to perform so well as "mentor" that she missed the chance to be "friend", and who carried a lump of lonliness and its consequential resentment.
So much healing has happened since then. So much humbling, and still I need more.
Today Jesus showed me that my desire to be relevant should take a back seat to a better goal: to love them well.
I'm starting to realize that the thing a student needs may not be another friend who has the same struggles, insecurities, boy troubles, and lives at the same stage of life. What they really need is Jesus. And Jesus can use me--at any age--to listen, to encourage, to talk about the serious and the silly, to share rides and meals and life, and to bring them back to the relentless love of the Savior that I myself need desperately and say, "I've been there. And Jesus is still good."
Because there are some things that transcend generations X, Y, Z, and beyond, until He returns.
I know--I'm still young...but I panicked, wondering if passing that milestone would suddenly make me un-relatable to the eighteen year olds we are welcoming to our group. I mean, that's an eight-year gap!
My thoughts went something like this: I'm married. That instantly puts me a world away from them. Then they'll figure out my class year was 2010...the same year most of them were just starting high school. When I was babysitter age, they would have been the age to babysit! I can't even stay up late to hang out with them...I'm so lame...I was feeling this even though my husband is over thirty and still totally relevant! Even though I could point to a generous crowd of young mommies who are encouragement powerhouses to the dozens of college girls who flock around them, I was still feeling like my expiration date was about to start flashing red.
Because it's true; I am no longer the student who frequents coffee shops, has five sets of flip flops, and carries a backpack in lieu of a purse.
But there is another truth: I'm also no longer the college student who crammed six discipleship meetings into every week, who strove to perform so well as "mentor" that she missed the chance to be "friend", and who carried a lump of lonliness and its consequential resentment.
So much healing has happened since then. So much humbling, and still I need more.
Today Jesus showed me that my desire to be relevant should take a back seat to a better goal: to love them well.
I'm starting to realize that the thing a student needs may not be another friend who has the same struggles, insecurities, boy troubles, and lives at the same stage of life. What they really need is Jesus. And Jesus can use me--at any age--to listen, to encourage, to talk about the serious and the silly, to share rides and meals and life, and to bring them back to the relentless love of the Savior that I myself need desperately and say, "I've been there. And Jesus is still good."
Because there are some things that transcend generations X, Y, Z, and beyond, until He returns.
:)
ReplyDelete-Sarah N.
I'm also no longer the college student who crammed six discipleship meetings into every week, who strove to perform so well as "mentor" that she missed the chance to be "friend", and who carried a lump of lonliness and its consequential resentment.
ReplyDeleteThis.
I can completely relate (well almost, I'm getting there) I would love to grab coffee sometime since we are only a wall apart! Probably won't be able to until I get back from everything, but I'd love too!
-Blanche