Risks worth taking

I fervently wish I was a better listener.

I've been trying to keep my mouth shut more often, to listen more intently and remember details. I've been asking God to help me really hear what people are saying.

To that end, this blog might be working against me. Learning to listen is rarely accomplished while delving into my own thoughts. But at least it forces me to honestly examine what I find there, and honesty—if it pricks me in the right places—might pop the pride bubbles that I blow for myself.

Two weeks ago, the whole Italy Mission trip team met in our tiny blue living room for cultural training. As we discussed the many ways that we could embarrass and be embarrassed in a foreign culture, I was struck by the realization that I don’t dedicate nearly enough effort to the study of my own culture.

And culture isn’t the crux of it, as if I could buy a guide book and sail through without snags. The heart of the matter is people.

Sometimes I think, wouldn’t it be great if every person you met came with a user’s manual?  

This is what this person means when they say X.

Here is a list of this person’s likes, dislikes, etc.

Here is how to avoid offence.

But a person is too beautifully nuanced to reduce to a spreadsheet or chart. They are not static, as if the same words would affect them in exactly the same way next week, let alone next decade. They are living, growing, reactive, infinitely interesting persons, and fully worth the risk of embarrassment inherent in getting to know them.

On the flip side, being known is risky too.  I think both are risks worth taking.